where's my ego?

i've let myself down once again.
i started to bug her* once again.
started to ask what she's doing once again.
suggested we meet once again.

why?

i can't control myself.
no matter how much people help hold me down.

we had the longest phone call since brunei.
8 minutes.
she* says everything can be said thru msn.
there was no need to talk face to face.
i said perhaps we could meet for supper
after she* sends denise off to australia.

she* said the petals wanted to talk to her.
and she* was going dragonfly with him
and the citibank folks after that.
no time for me.

anw to denise who is going to monash to study
for such a long two years..
all the very best!
see u when u come back on vacation!
=)

jamie said i must accept the fact.
that she's gone.
i know there is no hope..
but i just can't forget.

kok said i needed something
to fill the emptiness in me.
what can?
what can replace her*?

abby said i needed to move on.
i need my pride and some motivation.
where's my ego?
self esteem disappeared when she* did.

jj said i needed to play games.
thats the only thing i can actually do.
get me my frozen throne quick.

badminton tmr.
suddenly the excitement is lost.
maybe its cause i'm tired.
maybe its cause the weekend is over.
maybe its cause i'm booking in soon.

but whatever the reason..
i'm losing touch with fun.

didn't do much today.
woke up late. stayed home.
had a pretty nice lunch..
at the neighbourhood timsum shop.
i love timsum.

now that i'm alone.
guess i get to jio different people out to eat.
gluttony. my deadliest sin.

went to my grandma's place..
usual sunday routine.
jamie calls it "ah ma's" place when she phoned.
lol. i just find that name so affectionate.
i love u grandma. =)
tho i dun call ur place ah ma's place. haha.

dear heaven.. give me my life back.